The Roller Coaster

It has been a few weeks since I last posted and what a ride we have been on. If you are adopting, thinking of adopting, or supporting someone who is adopting, you are either waiting in line to get on the ride, just buckling in or maybe you are going around the loop upside down wondering when it is going to end. The last few weeks we have been on the hair pin turn wondering when our stomachs will settle back in, and our hearts will slow back down to a steady rhythm, that is, until we hit the next turn. We must really like this roller coaster called adoption because we get off, and get right back in line again.

Karina decided that she could not be adopted because she did not want to leave her 84 year old grandmother. I have a picture I took at the orphanage and I captured a moment that I thought was so beautiful, and maybe that is the day I really fell in love with this girl. It is one of those pictures that stay in your memory. Karina's grandmother had been to visit her, she had ridden 3 or 4 hours on the train to come to the orphanage to spend time with her.

She is a small wizened lady bent over with a limp, the years on her lined faced showing the toll life has taken on her. Her love for this young girl is very obvious. The picture I captured was one of them walking away to put her grandmother on the bus. Their backs were profiled in my lens just for a moment, This was a picture that told a story and I wanted to frame it in my mind. I felt like an intruder on their private, sweet and tender goodbye as they hugged, and yet I couldn't bring myself to turn away. I didn't even know Karina well, but she intrigued me. Her care and tenderness towards her grandmother was in such stark contrast to the sterile orphanage setting.

Karina had her grandmothers satchel in one hand and was tenderly holding the older woman's arm. Karina was so young and fresh, tall and lithe, so full of the beauty, the hope of a future, a story yet to be written. Such a contrast to the old woman beside her bent with age, and who has seen more than she ever cared to. At this moment Mark and I both knew we wanted to be a part of Karina's story we wanted to help write a better future for her than the woman next to her who was having to leave her beloved granddaughter in the orphanage.

Three weeks age she told our facilitator she did not want to be adopted. We both grieved! Why was she throwing away her chance yet again? The we found out her grandmother was still alive, even though they told us she had died. Never believe any stories you hear half of them are untrue, or at the very least wrong information.

We love this girl with all our hearts, her future is grim how can we possibly bear the thoughts of her being all alone and having to find her way. A missionary friend who does a lot of work over in Ukraine met Karina and he said she is so beautiful she will be preyed on as soon as she leaves that orphanage. I held this child in my arms and listened to her sweet breathing as she slept beside me after she had fallen asleep giggling over us trying to talk with each other in sign language. All the girls love to take turns sleeping with me when dad is traveling. It is a special time when we can talk and bond.

Our heads and hearts were reeling. Then we found out why and it made sense. We knew that we had to have her come for the summer. Her director talked to her and explained that grandmother will not live forever and Karina must think about her future. She now has less than a year! She has agreed to come and she told our friend who just saw her that she loves us very much and that we are the family she wants to be with. We are still going to move forward with all the paperwork.

We are so happy she is coming. We have a friend who is Russian and has worked extensively with orphans and all that that entails. We will be able to have some very serious talks with her.

We don't know how we are going to do it all we just have to put our faith in God.

Kyle is doing fine. They were able to induce one of the spasms at the neurologist office, and after extensive tests and checking it looks like they can't find anything wrong. Platelets are back to normal. Praise God!! Thank you for your prayers.

I have been saving the money every week to get Nastia's eye operation. I sent the money off this week with lots of prayers. I will put a picture up of what she looked like before and then hopefully Sveta will send me an after shot. The poor girl has been crossed eyed her whole life she has never been able to see correctly. We just couldn't forget her when we came back even in the midst of all of the other stuff we are trying to do.

I still need to get the puzzle up please bear with me. This has been such a busy time and I don't even have 5 minutes these days but my summer vacation is coming and you will probably all be tired of hearing from me:) I love all of you and praise God for you.

I see the beauty of the Spring but more importantly I see God in every flower or tiny bird that flies by my window.

Draw Me Near

It is hard to believe how much time has flown past since I last posted. We are praising God for many blessings these past few weeks. The first one that we want to shout from the roof tops is our precious Julia gave her heart to her Lord and Saviour last weekend. I told her the angels were dancing and singing in heaven, and that they have been waiting to have that dance since the day God created her in her mothers womb. She really loves to dance so that was a vision that just made her glow. Here is a child born into humble, grief stricken circumstances with what seemed like little hope for her life and now she is a daughter of the King of the universe. I stand in awe...

Lena and I had a wonderful weekend together. We went down to see her friend Elizabeth who was Lena's friend at the orphanage and now has a wonderful family. Several of the children came who had all been adopted and most of them were from the same orphanage. It still gives me chills to look at these children and think where they could have been and where they are now. They were happily running around playing games and just being kids. It was Elizabeth's 16th birthday, had she stayed in Ukraine her days would been numbered, she would have been on the streets in a life filled with challenges that most orphans find daunting, and usually do not succeed in overcoming.

Lena talked to me in English for 3 straight hours on the way there. It was really a time of bonding and it was very special. Unlike our other children, Lena openly speaks of her past. She told me things that made me so sad that sometimes I don't think I can't bear to hear another word. She told me how her mom who had been drinking way too much callously left her at age 6 after she was burnt, and while she begged and cried for her to take her with her, she walked out and she never saw her again. She left her taking only her brother. Then Lena says, I really miss my mom! That kind of love is so amazing to me, how some children can still remain so true to those that have rejected them. As hard and hurtful as that was for me to hear I know that I was seeing Jesus in the broken heart of this beautiful girl. Jesus loves everyone even as they rejected him and continues to love those who still choose to reject him. Lena without realizing it is exhibiting the kind of love God wants all of us to have-unconditional. I do not have unconditional love, but I do try very hard to seek it. I tell our children all the time you need to forgive your parents before you can truly heal. Have you ever tried to forgive someone for a grievance you have against them, that is not an easy task. What if it were an entire life of nothing but hurt inflicted by someone else? Only Jesus can heal those wounds. Today is Good Friday and I thank God for giving up his life so we could have life, and for teaching us the true meaning of forgiveness.

Now I must do a quick up-date on our sweet Karina. We got the puzzle and we are getting really excited about launching it. We haven't even put it up yet and we have already received donations. I have to tell you one is from a dear sweet pastor and his wife whom we were blessed to be in their church when our children were very young. They have spent the past 20 years in service to our Lord in South Africa. This man is one of the most amazing speakers I have ever heard, and with a heart for God that is a joy to behold. I will have to get permission to use his name because if you ever want a speaker that will bless your heart he is the one to do it. I came to know the Lord when we were going to his church and he actually baptized me when I was 9 months pregnant. I think we were both relieved when he was able to get me back up after submerging me :) The second donation came from a very close friend of mine who was my roommate before my husband, back when I was a wild and crazy young woman. She prayed for me many times when I thought my life was hopeless. It is only fitting that the corner and frame pieces of the puzzle, the foundation, so to speak, will have their names on them.

We have to make a decision soon, and as usual it is not easy. We want to bring Karina here for the summer on a hosting program. She can come for the whole summer which would be a joy for all of us. Summers when they are out of school is when lots of bad things can happen. There are lots of idle days and in some places not much supervision. It is very expensive to bring them here on a host program. Our dilemma is we are trying to raise money to adopt her and we don't know how long that will take and we only have now less than a year. If we take the money to bring her we won't be able to go adopt her as soon because it will take longer to raise that much more money. We are going put our faith in the Lord that he will provide at just the right time to bring her home in his time frame. Please pray for us on this decision we want to be wise. Our hearts so long to be with her and vice versa. There is not a day or probably even an hour that goes by that we don't think of her. I know that God is taking care of her while we are apart and he is so much more capable that we are, but still I just want to hold her and see her beautiful smile which lights up a room.

I pray that all of you have a wonderful Easter. Thank you God for the gift of all our children, but more importantly thank you for the gift of your son who came to save us all.